6-4-2010...A poop story

A typical day in the life of Cara. I worked last night, later than usual. Got up earlier than usual. Damn. Have to work tonight too. But wait, maybe I could actually take a nap today??? There is light at the end of this tunnel!!! WHOO HOO...Countdown to nap begins: 8:30..Mason refuses his breakfast informing me he only wants cookies (umm, yeah right, sooo not happening lil man)
9:00..reluctantly get some cheerios and fruit in the boy 10:30..go on a nice walk with the Mase and the Bax, ending shortly because Mason can't catch any squirrels and he throws an AWARD WINNING tantrum (thanks a lot you cowardly squirrels)
11:15...I inform Mason lunch is ready..he then stomps into the kitchen and says in his 2 year old demon vioce "i don't want lunch mommy, I want cookies". I tell him he may have a cookie after he eats his lunch. He then bites my thigh leaving a HUGE bruise. I cry a little and he kisses the bitemark and says he is sorry. Instantly forgiven.
11:45..Mason insists on watching Toy Story AGAIN...I swear if I watch that friggin movie one more time I AM GOING POSTAL!!!!!!!!
12:30...Oh thank you god, it is nap time! Upstairs we go(Mason whining all the way)
Go through routine..books, singing, back rub, all the good stuff.
1:00... Mason still yap yapping away (I can hear him through the monitor). As I am laying all snuggly and ready for MY MUCH NEEDED nap, I hear a little voice through the monitor say " Poopie on Mason. Poopie on T Rex. Poopie on blanket"
I think, NO WAY, he is just toying with me.. So I sneak up the stairs and smell the evidence instantly. Enter Mason's room to find out YES INDEED, poopie on all the mentioned things!!
As I stand at Mason's crib, gasping in horror, I don't have any F***ing clue what to do..it is not just poop, it is the MOTHERLOAD of all poops and Mason has taken off his diaper and shorts and it looks like a poop tornado hit his crib!
45 mins later...Mason washed, clothes changed, sheets, blankets, etc changed. Toys removed from crib and cleaned. Put Mason back down for a nap. He happily goes right to sleep. I fold my blanket from the couch as I realize I am getting no nap today. Sigh.
Then I start this blog...because I really can't make this stuff up!!
On that note, have to go get ready for work as I have a 9 hour shift on my feet. And Happy Flippin Friday everyone!
xoxoxoxoxoxo as always
Supermom

Where to start??? The story of us,,,,,

AHHHHH where to start??? Sorry folks, this is going to be all over the place but I must start somerwher. Guess I will start from the beginning of the Malecki team...
It started in 2000, a longggggg time ago when that dashing man swept me off my feet (ok, enough of the dramatics, we met at the bar that I worked at and I asked that big putz out on our first date).
FForward to 2005- Wedding..ahhh soooooo in love
FForward to 2006- Purchase Malecki Mansion (actually, it more resembles a shoebox, but it's cozy)
2008....February 7..the day the world changed..I BECAME MOMMY to Mason Robert Malecki, the most angelic 5lb 8oz baby imaginable.. life would never be the same as I knew it, and I would never be completely sane again.
I left my full time job to be home with my boy, working part time as a bartender 3 nights per week.
I sure wish I started this blog in the early days, because an awful lot happened and due to my momnesia(aka mommy brain)my memory is not so hot.. there is a little secret that moms neglect to tell unsuspecting mothers to be: YOU BECOME A SPACE CADET INSTANTLY after giving birth, and forget is your new middle name!!!!!!
Anyways, the first two years were a true delight..my perfect child could do no wrong. I was convinced I had the sweetest, most beautiful, lovable, brilliant child in the whole world. And then he turned two. (Que evil dracula music)
No and mine became Mason's favorite words, along with mega tantrums, nap refusal, BITING, torturing my poor dog Baxter, and EVERY OTHER FRESH BEHAVIOR imaginable! Who the hell is this demonic child, and where is my sweet baby???
I wake up every morning wondering if I will have my sweet angel Mason, or his evil twin??? Could go either way on any given day.
When he is sweet, he is so sweet though...it makes all the "bad days" forgivable.
Mason started speaking very early on, and he talks NONSTOP...
Now I know those who know both me and Scott must be in ABSOLUTE shock over this information, where in the world could he have inherited this gift of gab????????
My parenting style is: Perfect :) Hahaha, that is what I like to think, but if you ask my dear husband he will tell you that I am the most anal mother in the world (nicknaming me analingous)
I must be in control of EVERYTHING (evil laughter, ahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa)
My poor Scott has been "in charge" of Mason while I work 3 nights a week for over 2 years now, and to this day he will come home to a complete list of instructions and time table for all of Mason's "requirements".
Wow, guess I am pretty freaking anal.
And Scott is a great dad, but I would never give him 100% credit, that is not my style. Instead I will pick out the one teeny tiny little thing (like leaving a crayon on the floor) and nitpick away... (again que the evil laughter, ahhahahahahaha)
Don't pity Scott, he is not so innocent. Scott is very friendly and outgoing, quite comical, but also VERY opinionated and he has a "big" personality. I am quite sure that he has made a lasting impression on everyone that he has ever met
Ok, I have to wrap it up somewhere. So ther you have it. Team Malecki in a nutshell.
Warning...future posts may be very graphic... As a mom I have NO SHAME!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxo Cara (supermom)